


I miss you.

by Bubblegum_monroe



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Hospitalization, Modern AU, no one dies (for once)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 12:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19013008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblegum_monroe/pseuds/Bubblegum_monroe
Summary: It's been months since the apartment has held more than one person. Than the bed has had more than Asra and a cat sleeping in it. Since their worlds got turned upside down. It's been months since Eos' got admitted into hospital for a disease that she was wilting beneath, and after a particularly bad spell, Asra has no other option than to see her after hours.Especially when they're both worrying about her coming home at all.





	I miss you.

**Author's Note:**

> thx @ obbets

It’s dark, and she’s higher than he’s usually comfortable climbing.   
But Asra will fall if he gets to see her. 

The air is cold on his skin, and he can see through the window she’s barely even pretending to sleep.    
For weeks before she got sent here she’d been like that. Shaking, unable to sleep, just waiting for the morning to come around. He can see the bleached blond in her hair, where there should be purple. Even if they let him bring her dye, there was no place to actually do it, and she couldn’t stand long enough for it anyway. 

He pries the window open, smiles as she turns her head towards him as he climbs in through the window. Shutting it behind him, to keep out the chill. 

“Hey, baby,” Her voice is rough, and even in the limited light it still highlights the drip attached to her. The tired, almost constant look on her face. She’s not even surprised to see him here. He goes right to her side as she lifts her arms, letting him wrap his arms around her and lift her into a hug. She smells clinical, none of her perfume permitted of course, so much of her left behind for her health.   
She’s still the same when he kisses her, lips soft and skin warm. Tired, but loving. 

“Couldn’t keep me away if they tried,” He says, settling into the chair beside her bed. She tries to sit up, pushes herself up her pillow a few inches. It breaks his heart, to see Eos, the woman he’d once seen throw her far taller brother, so weak. To see her have to wait as pieces of herself fall away here.

“I think they thought that the law against trespassing would hinder you,” She takes one of his hands, pulling him towards her. “C’mon, you’re already here. You can get into bed with me.” He does not hesitate to get up again, to be careful of her drip as he climbs in with her, settles her half on top of him. Arms around her waist. Like they used to when they’d crashed at her brother’s on his sofa. Fitting together in small spaces.

“You’re beautiful,” He says as he kisses her hair, tucking it behind her ear. He’s missed this, holding her and having her weight on him. She’s lighter than she used to be, it scares him. “I’ve missed you.” She tucks herself into him, head resting back on his shoulder. 

“I’ve missed you too, baby,” She lifts one of his hands to her lips, kissing his knuckles. She doesn’t wear her jewellery anymore, some of the rings are looser now. And in general it’s too expensive to keep around here, he’d tucked it away, just like she’d asked, into the box in her wardrobe. “I always miss you,” She admits, “I can’t wait to come home one day. I’ve missed  _ this _ .”   
The implication, of course, is that her ‘one day’ might not come.    
The longer she’s stayed here, the more he’s heard and seen her feel like this is it for her. That she should consider the hospital home now.

“It can’t be too much longer now,” He says, as if she hadn’t already spent months here, waiting. Hoping. Like he hadn’t done the same. “You’ll be home again and it’s going to be fantastic, we can spend all day in bed, or go out if you want. It’ll be perfect.”

“Yeah,” She doesn’t sound convinced, but she does sound almost hopeful. “I can’t wait to be in  _ our _ bed again, this thing doesn’t even compare. I miss all our dumb pillows, and god making my  _ own _ food. The food here sucks.” He’s brought her in something more than once, smuggled it in if he’s had to. Watched how delighted she looks for anything that even resembles spice or  _ flavor _ . Even something simple makes her happy.

And it hurts it really does. He misses cooking with her, for her, watching her cook. How she’d sneak her ridiculous cat pieces of their meal if it wasn’t doused in spice. How she’d lean into him when he hugs her to watch her cook. How she’ll kiss the back of his neck and his shoulders when he’s at the stove. Stepping around each other and stealing bits of affection as they work on separate parts of a recipe. He misses it so much.

“And spending time with you,” She links their fingers together. “I miss that too. If nothing else, that’s all I want. To be able to be with you.”

“Me too,” he kisses her hair again, smells her. It’s not the same as she used to be but it’s so close, it’s close enough and he loves her so much. “I can’t wait to watch movies with you, cuddling with you on the sofa. Or take a bath with you again.” Get her hair fixed together, mix her dye and tone the blonde. He loves her, no matter what condition she’s in, but he knows she hates this. Not being  _ her _ enough. “I can’t wait to wake up with you.”   
He’d love nothing more than to bring her home happy and healthy, and spend the rest of their lives in their apartment together. Just the two of them and a lifetime of happiness.

“God,  _ yes _ . A bath, an actual  _ bath _ ,” She’s sick of hospital showers and shower chairs. Of nurses waiting outside in case anything happens because she  _ insists _ on some privacy. Of eventually giving in and letting them help her out. “It’s been way too long since we’ve done anything like that.” She sighs, and it’s then he notices how shallow her breathing is. Constantly. “I miss it, I miss home. I fucking hate this place.”

His arms tighten around her instinctively when she says that.  _ Hates _ this place. It’s their best chance at her getting better. At her recovering. 

“You don’t mean that,” His voice is softer than before, something sad in it. He runs his fingers through her hair, untangling missed knots. “It’s better than the alternative right? Better than- than getting worse or…” He swallows hard, pressing his face into the side of her head. “Or anything else.”

Better than being dead.

“I do mean it,” She says vehemently, then wilts again. “I mean it. I know I have to be here, I know.” For so long, for such a long time where they have to sneak moments like this one her worst weeks. “That doesn’t make it easy.” There’s a certain quality to her voice that he doesn’t register right away until he hears her sniffling. “I don’t want this, Asra, I don’t want to be  _ like  _ this anymore. It’s too hard.” 

“Oh, Eos…” He knows it’s hard, that it’s a terrible thing to live with for her. That it’s lonely. “I love you, Eos, I do. And no matter what, I want you to be healthy too.” And she isn’t healthy, not by a long shot. “I love you.”   
She nods her head, hand wiping at her eyes. 

“I love you too,” A deep breath, probably a much needed one. “Even if I have to be in this… this  _ bullshit _ place to keep being able to say that to you. It’ll be worth it.” She tries to sound sure, but he knows she’s not. “Everything will go back to how it was, right?”

“Of course,” He breathes, closing his eyes. Trying to imagine just how long it might take, how happy she’ll look when he takes her home. “It’ll be worth it, all you need to do is get better and it’ll all go back to normal. Just get better, sweetheart.”

She’s quiet for a while after that. And for a moment he thinks she’s finally fallen asleep, he knows she needs it. That she doesn’t get enough of it. 

“Does Garbage miss me?” She knows her cat, her ridiculous cat, absolutely does. And he knows she loves that reassurance. 

“He spends half his time sleeping on your side of the bed waiting for you,” He sees the movement of her cheek with her weak smile. “Call me a liar if you want, but he’s even started cuddling with me. He curls right up to my side at night, and sits  _ peacefully _ on my lap when we’re watching T.V.”    
It’s strange, for the cat to not want to attack him at the drop of a hat now. He supposes that he’s lonely too. He’s… surprisingly grateful for Garbage.   
“He’ll go right back to his bastard ways when you’re home again.”

She laughs, and it’s a heartbreaking sound. When it’s been so long since she’s managed to muster a laugh even at his  _ best _ jokes. The ones she always ends up cackling like a witch at without fail.    
He misses her laugh. Her chortling and huffed laughter when he makes some slightly bitchy comment about something. Her giggling when she watches something cute or when they’re in a loving,  _ loving _ mood. Her full blown laughter, loud and hearty, her cackling and even quiet, gasping laughter. 

He misses making her happy. 

“At least you’re getting along for now,” The first time he told her Garbage hadn’t attacked him on sight she’d called him a liar right to his face, he’d had to bring in  _ evidence _ to convince her otherwise.   
He didn’t have to. He wanted to. He knew she missed her cat. “Maybe he’ll stay like that when I’m back.”

“We could only be so lucky.” These days it feels like they’re almost all out of their luck. He smiles when she chuckles, twisting slightly to lie more comfortably on him.

“I love you.” She says, finally a tired yawn following her words. She’ll sleep soon, and he’ll have to be gone before the nurses come to check on her.   
But for now, he’s all hers. 

“I love you too.”    
And he does.

More than anything in the world, he knows first and foremost he  _ loves _ Eos.   
And he’ll wait until the end of time to bring her home.


End file.
